My mind is in a weird place to bear with me or don't read on:

I think basically that nothing is real except for our perception of it. Not even life or, according to God, time, is real. It's all just a figment of our...bodies/minds?
How we perceive life/situations/people is all that counts. And what we do with those perceptions is all that counts in eternity. So maybe then actually only what we do counts. And what we do is influenced by how we perceive something.

So say my friend sees me with another guy, who is not my boyfriend. She goes and tells my boyfriend. He then reacts according to how he perceives our relationship. He can, either, know we are in a strong, accountable, stable relationship and knows that he trusts me and not even be bothered about it. Or he can worry because he is insecure in the relationship or because of past hurts. He can even talk to me about it, and see my explanation (it's an old friend) as a lie. He then becomes paranoid every time I go out and starts being possessive or he can distance himself trying to get "back" at me or trying to not get hurt himself. Or he can choose to believe that I am cheating on him and leave me/shout at me ect.

How he perceived the situation is the dialogue that goes on in his head. It's that dialogue that convinces us on the "real"ness of a situation. That is why we need to be acutely aware of the dialogue in our head. Of our thoughts. Same situation counts for someone who walks past a group of people who burst out laughing. In actual fact the one has just told a joke, but the person convinces herself they are laughing at her. So she gets negative reinforcement that "yes, they are laughing at me" and then acts in an insecure manner, which makes it even harder for people to relate to her, pushing her more away and reinforcing the negative cycle.

I'm just thinking aloud so stop if you get confused.

So here's a thought: how about we convince ourselves of positive things? So... even if they are laughing at you, if you convince yourself they aren't, you won't be shy around them, build a relationship with them, get positive reinforcement ect. Or in the relationship example. Say the girl is not cheating on the guy. He is throwing away a perfectly good relationship due to negative perceptions. And the more he is confident and secure in himself, it will show in his relationship, making the girl like him even more, turning it into a reality. I've left steps out and used simplified examples, but this is true.

It has been shown repeatedly in psychology that your expectation of treatment to work (whether pharmacological or therapeutic) is a strong determining factor in the success thereof. In other words, placebo effect. If you expect a certain outcome you are likely to receive that outcome.

Anyway. That's me so far on the subject. Thinking about it a lot however.